Turning 18 With Autism or ADHD: Planning the Transition to Adulthood

Is your autistic teen, or your teen with ADHD or an intellectual disability, somewhere around 15? The transition to adulthood can still feel a long way off. It is closer than it looks, and starting to plan now is one of the most helpful things a family can do.

The good news is that most of the groundwork is in your hands. It doesn’t need to happen all at once. It needs time, a few conversations, and your young person at the centre.

Why the transition to adulthood starts at 15

A recent ABC News report from Tasmania described a young person in foster care whose NDIS plan stayed much the same from age 10 to 17. When he turned 18, his supports no longer matched his life. Every family’s situation is different. Still, his story shows something many parents only find out late: a lot changes at once around 18.

School finishes or changes. Health care moves from children’s services to adult services. Legal decision-making passes to the young person. And supports that suited a 10-year-old rarely suit a young adult.

The Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne begins its transition process from age 15 and spreads it over several years. Raising Children Network suggests starting while your child is at secondary school, and reviewing the plan about every six months. Those years give your teen time to learn, try things and have a say.

Put your teen at the centre of the plan

A good plan is built with your young person, not just for them. Ask what they hope for. Study, work, where they would like to live, who they want to spend time with. Some teens have firm ideas. Others need help to picture the options. Both are completely fine.

Everyday skills sit at the heart of it:

• cooking a simple meal
• catching public transport
• managing a little money
• booking an appointment or making a phone call
• looking after their own health routines.

Small, repeated practice now builds confidence later. Let your teen try, get it a bit wrong, and try again while you are close by.

The goal isn’t to do everything at once. It’s to give your teen time to practise being an adult while you are still close by.

A simple timeline for the transition to adulthood

Make sure the NDIS plan still fits

Plans tend to roll over. That can be convenient. But goals written for a primary school child may not fit a 16-year-old. If your teen is an NDIS participant, read the plan each year with a simple question in mind: does this still describe my child’s life?

Look for goals about life after school, and supports for building independent living skills. If things have changed, you can ask for a change. The NDIS describes two pathways:

• Plan variation — for smaller changes to the current plan.
• Plan reassessment — for significant, ongoing changes to support needs.

A reassessment needs a request form from the NDIS website, with evidence of what has changed, such as reports from your GP or health professionals. For a variation, you can use a form or contact the NDIS directly. From 18, your young person (or their nominee) makes the request. According to Raising Children Network, the NDIS can fund supports such as independent living skills training and help moving from school into work.

Why current assessments help

Reports written years ago describe a younger child. When a plan is reviewed, up-to-date information about how your teen manages day to day gives a clearer picture of what they need now.

A psychologist can assess areas such as everyday living skills (often called adaptive functioning), learning, and emotional wellbeing. A current report can also help schools, training providers and adult services understand your young person’s strengths, not only their challenges.

If you would like to talk about an assessment or support for your teen, our child and adolescent psychology team is here to help.

What changes when your teen turns 18

In Victoria, once your child turns 18, you no longer make decisions for them automatically. That covers medical, money and personal decisions. Services may also need your young person’s permission before sharing information with you.

For many families, informal support works well. You keep helping, and your young person stays in charge. If they would like more structure, the Office of the Public Advocate explains a few options:

• a supportive attorney, to help with money and personal decisions
• a medical support person, to help with health decisions.

These supporters can get information and help your young person think things through. The decision stays with your young person.

Guardianship through VCAT is a last resort. It is only considered when a decision needs to be made and there is no less restrictive way to make it. It can’t be arranged in advance, just in case.

If you are a foster or kinship carer

Young people leaving care face all of this with extra pressure. In Victoria, Home Stretch offers support until 21 for young people leaving foster, kinship or residential care, and those on permanent care orders. Eligibility starts at 16 or 18, depending on the care order.

Support includes a Better Futures case worker, advice and flexible funding. Young people who stay with their carers can receive an allowance, and those living independently can get help with housing costs. Ask your young person’s case worker about Home Stretch well before 18.

Looking after yourself through the transition to adulthood

This stage can bring up a lot for parents and carers too: pride, worry, and sometimes grief for a phase that is ending. Those feelings are normal. Making room for them helps you support your young person well. If you would like a space to talk it through, our parent counselling is there for you.

Related reading: Thriving Kids: What the NDIS Changes Mean for Your Family and Autism Assessment for Children: What to Expect.